Dear gentlemen of the ********* Building,
Please stop pinching the tabloids so that you can read them while you're having a dump. We're fed up with finding the Sun, the Star and the Mirror on the floor of the khazi every single bloody day, and obviously we can't archive them after they've been abandoned in a puddle of piss. Seriously, just stop it. It's a massive waste of our money to be buying these all in just so that you can ogle the norks while you evacuate your bowels. If you want to catch up on what Katie's saying about Peter or whether Jacko's really dead while you're unleashing a brown demon, please supply your own reading material.