Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Spam emails

From Finance:

Afternoon,

As you are hopefully aware there has been an increase in the amount of VAT we all pay on most goods and services from 17.5 % to 20%.

Couple of points to bear in mind that affect day to day life here.
If setting up a new client you need to select the new VAT rate, same goes for suppliers. Expenses, please remember that all expenses need to be supported by a VAT receipt (if a vatable good or service) and not the credit card slip. We cannot claim the VAT (if applicable) without one. For those managing staff entertaining budgets this is particularly important as you don't want to lose 20% of your budget to the tax man. It's worth noting (and please don't shoot the messenger as these are HMRC rules), receipts for more than £250 need the VAT amount detailed, if it isn't the VAT cannot be claimed. Some retailers etc are good at this however, others are not, so it's worth checking the bill and if the VAT's not detailed request a full VAT receipt.
Any queries please ask.

Thanks
G***

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From the MD:

And more broadly speaking, the Coalition fascists are forcing a rise in all living costs on all of us decent, hard-working families. I am genuinely considering extending my meat-based diet to include Spam as a meal option (it will be like being a permanent guest at B****' house).


Comrade L*****
General Secretary - Politburo

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From B****:

For a while I couldn't afford Spam and had to resort to the Poundland equivalent, Spaz. Fortunately I discovered a hidden job number recently, entitled 'L*****'s portion of pork'. Now I buy Espammé from Waitrose and expense it.

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From Finance:

Don't worry, the eagle eyes of finance spotted this a while ago and have actually been deducting this off of B****' salary.

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